Everyone thinks that having a lot of friends is a true measure of their personal value, but what if I played devil’s advocate and told you that life is far more rewarding without friends? Would you believe me and want to delve a little further into this particular concept? I hope you would, because that’s precisely what we are about to do.
Anyone who tells you that having friends is absolutely essential needs to read through the below-mentioned reasons why friends quite simply aren’t needed. According to Psychology Today’s article titled “Why You Don’t Need Friends”, humans do need basic interaction with other humans, but there is nothing to prove that our connections with others need to go any further than acquaintance level. I found that quite interesting.
I believe you can get all the way through your life with a smile on your face and a happy heart without having to have actual friends. Of course, seeing and talking to other people is needed, but there’s no real need for much more than that. Below I list several great reasons why you don’t need friends and will be better off without them.
Why there is no need to have friends – 11 reasons you’re better off alone:
1. Friends cost money.
Friends can be like a drain on finances. They want to go out to bars and restaurants, they want to pay for activities, and they have birthdays and celebrations…. Money spent on friendships over a life span is considerable. Without friends, there are no friendship-related expenses to worry about! Score!
2. Without friends, you have more time for yourself.
For a long time in my life, I had a large group of friends that I spent time with. I found that every weekend was spent on frivolous activities with friends, and I quite simply never got anything done. I would scramble from the weekend into the week feeling tired, bedraggled, and far from ready for the week. And of course, my self-care had really taken a knock. Since I offloaded the group of friends, I have time to take care of myself and do the things that I really enjoy doing.
3. No need to deal with pesky jealousy and competition.
Many friendships lead to jealousy. Someone in your group may be jealous of how you look or what your achievements are. On the other end of the scale, you might find yourself feeling inferior because you spend too much time comparing yourself to others in the group and feeling jealous of how they look, how happy they appear, and how much progress they are making in their careers and relationships. Without friendships, these feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and inferiority can be completely avoided in your life.
4. You don’t need to trust anyone (trust is hard!).
Unfortunately, trust is a difficult thing to master in life. It’s not just our partners we need to trust, but also our friends. You have to trust that your friends aren’t going to try to steal your partner, or talk about you behind your back, or try to ruin your reputation. This happens in many groups of friends …it’s an undeniable and unfortunate fact. If that’s not your cup of tea, I am here to tell you that you can really benefit from not having any friends at all.
5. You get to be completely self-centered all of the time (with no-one to judge you).
When you have friends, you have to consider their feelings, wants, desires, and preferences. That might end up in discomfort for you. People with friends may have to compromise and end up going to restaurants they don’t like, movies they aren’t keen to watch, spending time with other people they don’t like… doesn’t sound great, does it? Without friends, there’s never a need to just go along with plans. You can be completely selfish, and the best part of all, there is absolutely no one around to judge you.
6. There’s no need to deal with drama.
All you have to do to see how much drama exists in friendship is to go to a nightclub or bar one Friday evening, find a corner table, and watch the dynamics between friendships unfold. People may have the deepest friendships, but the more involved you become with someone, the more the possibility of drama exists. People get upset, people’s feelings get hurt, people lie and cheat, and friends have to constantly be worrying about each other. Ah, the drama!
If it’s all too much for you to do deal with and you don’t really have the time and inclination to manage drama in your life, ditch the friends and live a simpler existence.
7. Your career can flourish.
If you are the type of person that is career-focused, chances are that friendships might just get in the way of your progress and success. When you have friends, suddenly your evenings and weekends are full, leaving no time to study, take home extra work, network with career peers, and really get ahead in your chosen industry or expertise. If you want your career to flourish, having no friends can be highly beneficial.
8. You can focus on your health and personal wellbeing.
Being a healthy and fit version of yourself requires time, and also requires you to make good choices and decisions about how you spend your time. If you are going out for dinners and drinks all the time with friends, when will you ever feel good enough to go to the gym or run daily, and follow the healthiest possible diet? The fewer friends you have, the more time you will have to focus on your health and personal wellbeing.
9. There are absolutely zero obligations to other people.
As a friend, there are automatic social obligations that you must tend to. For instance, when a friend is feeling down and depressed or going through a difficult time, you are “obligated” to reach out, be there for them and try to assist them in getting back to a healthier way of life. If a friend has a birthday, you have to buy a present and go to a birthday party. It’s the same when friends are promoted, buy a house, get married, have a kid, and so on. Life as a friend is simply jam-packed with social obligations.
10. Your personal problems and secrets remain your own.
When people make friends, one of the first things they do when they get comfortable is to share. Sharing your problems, secrets, fears, private thoughts – it can all feel great. But it’s not great when a friendship goes awry, and your confidant turns against you, spreading your secrets and personal concerns. If you don’t have friends, this isn’t something that you ever have to worry about.
11. Without friends, you get to avoid being backstabbed and deceived.
Friendships have a way of going through ups and downs. It’s not uncommon to listen to a group of friends talking about how one member backstabbed or deceived another, causing hurt, upset, and a rift in the group. Are you keen on this type of drama in your life? If you aren’t, don’t put yourself in a position to deal with it!
As a fellow human, I can tell you quite confidently that you can get by just having acquaintances. If you don’t want to deal with all the other drama and discomforts that come with friendships, you really don’t have to. You can still be pleasant and fun to be around when it happens, but you don’t have to bond to a degree with people where it ends up in regular time spent. Sounds a whole lot easier than maintaining a regular friendship, doesn’t it? Perhaps you should give it a try!