Have you ever found yourself wondering if you have married the wrong person? Perhaps you get lost on thought, wondering why your partner never seems to do the things you want and need, or perhaps you just don’t feel that spark anymore. The reality is that we can marry the wrong person – quite easily actually – but how can you tell?
If you’re unsure if your other half is indeed “the one”, keep an eye out for the following non-obvious signs.
Have you married the wrong person? Here are 15 telltale signs to look out for:
1. Nothing changes after you bring up your worries/concerns.
If you feel like you are complaining about the same bad habit or behavior over and over, and then it just keeps happening; it might be because you ended up with the wrong person. Perhaps your partner has given up on the relationship and feels there is no incentive to correct behaviors or bad habits. You could try talking to your partner about the specific problem if you wish to save the marriage.
2. You are regularly irritable and impatient with your partner.
If you find that you just don’t have the time and patience for your partner, you could be doing yourself and them an injustice by sticking around. If you’re always feeling irritable at the mere presence of your partner, it might not just be a phase – you might have married the wrong person. Maybe try spending some time doing mindfulness or meditation; that might help you find and understand the actual source of your irritability.
3. Your lifestyle habits have taken a turn for the worst.
When you marry the right person, you bring out the best in each other. You spur each other on to be healthier, happier, and more content. When you marry the wrong person, you may find yourself and your partner letting yourselves go. This means you no longer put in the effort to look your best, you always skip on the salad for chips, and you’re missing your morning workouts in exchange for feeling sluggish and frumpy. Many people think this is just life, but it could be that you’re just with the wrong person.
Everyone needs a partner that inspires good lifestyle habits. Chat to your partner about your lifestyle habits and see if they wish to change them.
4. You never get an apology.
If you get into a squabble from time to time and your partner never sees fit to apologize to you, it’s a not so obvious sign that you’re with the wrong person. You might think your partner is just stubborn, but in a healthy relationship, apologies are important from both parties.
5. You fight regularly.
Some couples mistakenly think that fighting often means that there’s passion in the relationship. This isn’t always the case. Regular fighting could just mean that you don’t see eye to eye, and who wants to fight for the rest of their life anyway?!
6. Bedroom time lacks intimacy.
You might be having sexy time, but is it something that you look forward to? If you’re scheduling bedroom time and find that it lacks intimacy, it’s a sign that things aren’t quite right. Intimacy is more than just sex and plays an important role in a relationship.
7. Being with their family makes you awkward or uneasy.
You know the saying “when you marry someone, you marry their family”? Well, it’s true. If you are in a marriage and loathe the thought of the in-laws visiting, you’re in for a bleak surprise! One of the not-so-obvious signs of being in the wrong marriage is a clash or uncomfortable relationship with the in-laws.
8. Even though you’re always together, you feel lonely.
Feeling alone while in the company of your partner doesn’t sound quite right, does it? But what if that’s the case with you and your partner? Well, the reality is that your partner should be the person you want to spend the majority of your time with. If you don’t, it could be a sign that you’re just not meant for each other.
9. You’re on different moral and priority pages.
This one is a biggie. Most couples think that differences are okay and try to brush the fact that their partner has different morals and priorities under the rug. The reality is that marriage is teamwork, and you need to be on the same page if you want it to work. Your morals and priorities should match up, at least to some degree. If they don’t, you could find yourselves growing apart or getting frustrated with each other.
10. You have nothing to talk about.
Have you ever sat with your partner and just had nothing to talk about? Communicating and bonding are top reasons why people get into relationships and get married. If you find that you can’t talk to your partner or there’s just nothing much to talk about (or so it seems), it could be a sign that you’re with the wrong person.
11. You regularly lie about things.
If you find that you (or your partner) are starting to lie about things from trivial matters to important ones, that’s a sign that something along the way has gone wrong. No one wants to share their life with a person who lies to them. Do you find yourself saying you are working late when you are actually having a beer with a friend? Are you skipping out on your chores and pretending you’re pulling your weight? If lying is common and regular between you two, it’s a sign that you are married to the wrong person.
12. You long for a night alone.
How often do you want to just be alone to watch TV, have a bath, or potter around the house unhindered? Do you find that you regularly get that sinking feeling when it’s time to go home to your partner? Do you often wish for nights alone where you can just “do your own thing”? If so, that’s certainly not a healthy sign. It might mean that you’re not too happy in your marriage, and it might be time to assess things.
13. It was the financial security that first got your attention.
If you know that it was your partner’s earning power that got your attention and ended up in a marriage, you’re probably with the wrong person. If the relationship just seems to be lacking something and money is your main focus, it could mean that it’s the wrong marriage to be in.
14. Conflict never seems to get resolved.
Is conflict resolution on the top of your couple’s to-do list? Couples that get into fights and never reach a resolution during the fight are typically couples that are not well suited. Conflict needs definitive resolution, or it will just keep cropping up. If you get into a conflict with your partner and he/she constantly walks away or stonewalls you, it’s a sign that you’re with the wrong person. The right marriage partner will want to work things out and ensure that everything is fine.
15. You find yourself daydreaming about other people.
Do you find yourself daydreaming and fantasizing about having a relationship or fling with someone else? How often do you do this? Maybe the new guy or girl at work has caught your eye. This is certainly not a good mindset for your relationship. Think about what is making you think and feel this way. Perhaps your marriage just isn’t giving you what you want and need.
If you cringed while reading through these because they hit home, you’re probably married to the wrong person. Of course, the heart plays a big role in the decision-making, and perhaps you married for love, but that’s just fizzled out.
Being with the wrong person is one thing…being married to the wrong person is quite another. As the years tick by in a relationship, feelings and scenarios can chop and change. Before you take any dramatic steps in your relationship, spend some time observing and noticing it. First, see how you feel about the relationship, you and your partner, and then take it from there.