Per Mrs.: 15+ Signs Your Daughter-In-Law Doesn’t Like You 

Last Updated on February 14, 2024 by Lifevif Team and JC Franco

Mother-in-law and son talking and ignoring
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There’s something about your daughter-in-law that you just can’t quite put your finger on. Could it be that perhaps she doesn’t like you? You naturally assume that your son’s ‘chosen one’ would adore you, but what if there is a chance that she actually doesn’t? What if, in fact, she doesn’t like you at all? Before you get yourself into too much of a twist, let’s consider a few of the tell-tale signs that she might not like you first. 

If you have been wondering if your daughter-in-law loves or hates you, the below-mentioned behaviors can really give it away. Remember, though, that someone who feels overwhelmed or introverted may display some behaviors that can be misread or misunderstood. Anyways, let’s take a look at each of these signs …

16 tell-tale signs your daughter-in-law doesn’t like you:

1. She never makes use of your gifts.

If you are always giving your daughter-in-law thoughtful gifts and you never see her wear them or around the home, it might just be because she isn’t a fan of you. On the flip side, though, perhaps the gifts are well received but just don’t suit her style preferences. 

2. She will say things in jest that could be hurtful.

If your daughter-in-law keeps saying potentially hurtful things while laughing and saying “jokes” at the end, it could very well mean that she isn’t your biggest fan. 

3. She makes your son late for all family gatherings.

If you have a suspicion that it’s your daughter-in-law’s fault that your son and kids are typically late for every gathering, it could very well be under the manipulation of your daughter-in-law. Keeping everyone waiting is a sign of disrespect. 

4. She insists on leaving right after the meal or occasions at gatherings.

If you would like to have a cup of coffee and cookies with your son after a gathering, that would be considered normal. But if your daughter-in-law always insists that they leave immediately after the food or the actual event has finished, it could be a sign that she doesn’t enjoy the company. 

You can remedy the problem by encouraging her to leave as planned and promise to drop your son off at home a little later. Be polite and lighthearted as you suggest this and assess her response. If she agrees good-naturedly and leaves, you might be reading into something that’s not there. If she throws a tantrum and insists they leave right then together, you may be right; she probably doesn’t like you!

5. She doesn’t open up at all or seems sullen.

When someone doesn’t like other people or feels uncomfortable around them, they play their cards close to their chest. The fact that your daughter-in-law seems sullen or really quiet and never opens up could be a form of social anxiety or shyness. Alternatively, it could just be that she doesn’t feel comfortable and doesn’t like the company. 

6. She doesn’t seem to listen to you when you talk.

Someone who likes and respects you really listens when you talk. They give you eye contact, they interject as needed, and they offer a sympathetic ear. If you talk to your daughter-in-law and she seems distracted by things around her and her eyes dart around the room, she probably doesn’t feel the need to listen to you. She could very well not like you. 

7. She barely talks to anyone at family gatherings.

family having dinner party at home
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This is a tricky one to decipher. Some people can come across as rude, standoffish and quiet at gatherings because they are shy or have social anxiety in groups. It’s important to find out more about this. If your daughter-in-law doesn’t suffer shyness or anxiety, then it could be a way of showing that she doesn’t like you guys. 

8. She never offers to help with things.

If your daughter-in-law comes over for dinner with your son and doesn’t offer to help with the cooking, preparation, table setting, or clearing, it’s a sure sign of rudeness. If she liked and respected you, offering to help with these things would come naturally. 

9. She often skips family gatherings.

If you find that there’s always an excuse for your daughter-in-law to miss a family gathering, then it’s a sign that she doesn’t like you or the family very much. 

10. She never asks you to be a babysitter.

If your son and daughter-in-law have children and absolutely never ask you to be a babysitter, it could mean several things. Either they don’t like your parenting style, they don’t want to put you out or burden you, or she just doesn’t like the idea of you looking after her children. 

11. If your son isn’t around, she isn’t helpful, happy, or communicative.

If you see a noticeable change in how your daughter-in-law is when your son is around and when he isn’t, this could be a sign that she doesn’t like you, but she doesn’t want him to know. One way that this usually presents itself is that she is cheerful, talkative, and helpful when he is around, but she becomes withdrawn, sullen, and uncommunicative when he leaves. 

12. She doesn’t engage with you if you see her outside of the home.

If you see your daughter-in-law going into the shopping mall a short distance away, does she wave and greet you and come over? Or does she look the other way and walk briskly on? If you feel that she avoids you when she sees you in public, that’s definitely a sign that she doesn’t like you very much. 

13. She gets irritated when the kids want to spend time with you.

How does your daughter-in-law behave when the kids what to spend some time with their grandma? Does she cheerfully make the arrangements, or is it done begrudgingly? If she doesn’t like you, the idea of the kids wanting to spend time with you will really upset her.

14. She tries to show you up.

Have you ever found that it’s almost as if your daughter-in-law is turning situations into competitions? Perhaps when you make your son a chocolate cake, she tries to make one better. If you buy your son a gift, she tries to top it with a better gift? This sort of behavior shows that she is threatened by you and probably doesn’t like you very much.

15. She doesn’t respond to your calls or messages.

Woman Bothered by her Phone Ringing
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It can be very well that her phone is not working or that you have the wrong number, but the ugly truth is that she doesn’t want to talk or communicate with you. 

16. She tries to turn your son against you. 

This might sound like something straight out of a horror movie, but it actually does happen! Some disgruntled daughters-in-law may slowly start planting the seed of doubt into the minds of their husbands. She could mention that you snapped at the kids for no reason or that you are unreasonable in your requests. She may point out every time you make a mistake, curse, or do something wrong. Eventually, this can start to work on your son’s mind.

All things considered

Hopefully, the investigative work is over, and you know where you stand with your daughter-in-law. If your daughter-in-law is presenting some of these behaviors, perhaps it’s time to have a gentle chat with her about what might be wrong. You could either reach out to her to find out the underlying reason, or you could just ignore it. The choice is yours!

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This article was co-authored by our team of in-house and freelance writers, and reviewed by our editors, who share their experiences and knowledge about the "Seven F's of Life".

JC Franco
Editor | + posts

JC Franco is a New York-based editor for Lifevif. He covers topics like spirituality, philosophy, finance, sports, games, and food. JC earned a Bachelor’s degree in Business with a Marketing Concentration at Mercyhurst University. He is a certified USPTA professional who teaches tennis in the New York City Metropolitan area. He has passed the Level I exam of the CFA program.